"The Three Week Inner Monologue"

While waiting to turn our world upside down, I had a lot of strange feelings going on inside me. It was almost as if I was numb to the entire situation. It was the most bizarre thing. I found myself having second thoughts. Do I really want to do this? My husband and I are happy. Are we forcing something that's just not in our cards? Maybe we should just travel the world, take up more hobbies, explore different career paths, move out of our family surrounded small suburbia town? The questions were endless in my mind.  On the other side of the coin, I would have those other thoughts. The ones that have gotten me this far into the IVF process. At the end of the day, I knew this is something I had to do. I often wondered if this was all just a big test sent from the The Big Guns Upstairs. Did he really want to see me work for it and earn it? Was there a reason why I wasn't like some of my friends and family members? You know the ones that sneeze and get pregnant or my favorite, "he would just look at me and I would get pregnant" kinda people. That line always put a little salt in the wound. If I could only be so lucky. Anyhow...I know this is the path I need to take. If I get pregnant or not, I need to know in my mind that I did all I could. The rest is out of my hands. Hopefully this path will give us the answers we're so desperate in need of and we can begin the next chapter of our lives. So here we go! Jumping in feet first....