"Stick em Up!"

I never thought in a million years I would be interviewing doctors for IVF. Or more like, I prayed it would have never come to this. So here we are trying to find the best doc for the job. Our first interview was a bit overwhelming. The office was very posh and upscale. Giving the allusion this must be a great place. I would soon find out how this clinic could afford the finer furnishings and location. After completing a short novel of questions about my entire medical history, we were finally called in. Waiting, waiting and all of a sudden...BOOM! A woman bursts in the room with a scarf wrapped around her face and a gun in one hand. She screamed "give me your wallet and all the jewelry you have on!"Could this really be happening? Are we getting robbed at an infertility clinic? Okay so maybe this is a bit of an exaggeration but that's exactly how we felt. As we sat in the office, my husband and I felt like like we were in a sales call. Or better yet trying to buy a car. During the consultation, she explains that my "AMH" is on the low average which is concerning with my relatively young age. In laymans terms, AMH is your egg reserve or how many more you're workin' with until you begin the fun process of menopause. So in essence my clock is literally ticking. This was a perfect sales strategy for the doctor to give me that "sense of urgency," which wasn't even necessary. I understand the situation but could she have been a little more compassionate? As she continued to "sell us", all I could see was her mouth moving and heard nothing coming out. I could just visualize the alligator from Peter Pan moving in on me. Tick-Tock...Tick-Tock. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and then it happened. Niagara Falls ran over my pale cheeks. I was feeling a bit embarrassed. My husband was looking at me like a deer in headlights. The doc gave that "ahhhh" look and gives me a half hearted back pat hug. You know, the kind of hug where you go in stiff with your butt sticking out. I like to call it the "ass out hug". In the back of my mind, I felt like saying "yah thanks lady, thanks for nothing. First you try to rob me and now you're telling me my huevos are gonna be dried up lil prunes if I don't act quickly. Not exactly the best news but we decide to take the information with us and check this doc off our list...NEXT!!!