"3rd Times a Charm?"

My husband and I are extremely hopeful going into our 3rd consult. The reason being a mutual friend of ours has been going to this clinic and has had nothing but great things to say....and a beautiful family to show for I might add. We had a great drive into beautiful San-Diaaago. Sun was shining. Birds were chirping. We arrive to the clinic in no time and sit down with the doc. We then begin discussing our medical records. To my surprise, he was not concerned with my borderline AMH levels and appeared to be very hopeful and optimistic. We then proceed forward with a physical exam with good ol' "Henry," who I've gotten to know very well over the years. This is when the kooky nurse walked in. I must say I've never met such a sprightly lil thing. The first comment that comes out of her mouth was that she couldn't see my butt crack while I was sitting on the exam table. She sounded disappointed she didn't walk in to see a full moon. The doctor was also very pleased with what he saw on the ultrasound. Everything was feeling just dandy. The nurse then proceeds with the remaining instructions. The lil jokester begins giving my husband tips on how to give a "fancy sauce" sample (as if my hubs is a rookie at this? Sister please!). She even makes a reference that my hubby will be needing Pamela Anderson pictures and gives him the cup saying, "and here's Pamela." Ummm, excuse me! My husband isn't a blonde kinda guy and what makes you think he needs Pamela missy??? All joking aside I thought to myself, did she really just say that? WOW! I found myself giving that kinda awkward monotone giggle. Well I guess she makes the process a little more entertaining than the average nurse. Overall, I'm feeling really good about it. Everything is pointing to this clinic. We're just missing one thing...the prices. We continue to wait for the financial advisor to come in when the joker tells us she is very busy but we can take the prices home with us. The receptionist hands me this beautiful heavy black folder. Peaking inside, I could see the pages were a thick-upgraded quality. The pages might as well been embossed in gold. My natural instincts were telling me this could be a bad sign. As I read the prices on the way home, I could feel a black cloud float over our car and begin to rain over us. Could the prices be right? This doctor might as well be named Dr. Rumpelstiltskin! I'm surprised they don't want my 1st born on top of it. By all means we don't want to bargain shop but if we choose "Dr. R" and we do conceive, we will have no money to care for this poor child and have to put the it up for adoption. Okay, I'm being bit mellow dramatic but my husband got a kick out of the joke. We tried to work with them and see if they could help us in any way but they were not budging. The financial advisor was soon referred to as "Wicked Witch of the East". She was not friendly, compassionate, nor did she have any concept of customer service. She definitely lost a client for "Dr. R". So on to our hopefully last consultation. NEXT!!!